[	i am jacks mood...	|	flirty for girls	]
[	i am jacks music...	|	im coming out- diana ross	]

why do i wake up so early? i woke up at 5 today... as i sat awake looking at myspace at 6AM it occurred to me...

i dont like boys anymore so im going gay. but not dykey gay.

 if you are a girl and you want to tap this^ call me 504-0552. im serious. if you know a girl who would want to tap this^ give her my number.

[	i am jacks mood...	|	depressed	]
[	i am jacks music...	|	mewithoutyou sux, but the lyrics are good	]

And I'll live without you love,
but what good is one glove, without the other?
Though my face has changed, you know it's me
You know by the stillness in my eyes.
Come and whisper in my ear, "you're very pretty, dear"
So I wander and I wander
Your absence beating inside my chest
I try but I can't remember
The color of your eyes- just the shape of her dress...

i havent updated in awhile because i havent seen the point in it... now that there is soemthing important happening the words wont come... who cares about what is going on in my life, its always the same... but i guess now it wont be...everything is going to change and i hate it... i have no idea how i will be able to handle this... for once im actually crushed. 

[	i am jacks mood...	|	sleepy	]
[	i am jacks music...	|	the scientists- coldplay	]

yes i gave in... be my friend?

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=14853662&Mytoken=20050526221954

[	i am jacks mood...	|	keeping myself busy	]
[	i am jacks music...	|	giving up- silverstein	]

I lied myself to sleep tonight. I know, you've played out every line in your mind.
And now you throw it all away, A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me.
And when you feel the pain, I'm wishing I could stay.
How can I say I love you back, You never made me happy.

so heres my second update... this week was much better than the one before... everything just sorta ran smoothly... here are the highlights: 1) my dance group is now in the dance show with student choreography 2)got juked by a special ed kid 3) failed my permit test 4) saw sam at valhalla 5) bought shoes and makeup 6) watched nate, seth, jarrad, and alex play baseball 7) climbed a really tall fence 8) was stupid and scraped the skin off my knee...  last night we went to bellmont which was fun but the rides are way to expensive and short... i think the smartest thing to do if your going to ride the rollercoaster is go early in the day and get an unlimited ride wrist band and then just use it all day... anywho the last however many days ive been getting up by 6 in the morning which is probly why im typing these pointless journal entrys... its sad when you get up early and your bored cause the rest of the world is still busy sleeping... ill figure something out tho...

You've laid yourself to sleep!
I never said this wouldn't hurt.
You gave up everything!
I never said I'd give it back.
I know! You'll never change!
I won't be good enough for you.
I know! You'll make it through,
I'll never be around to see.

[	i am jacks mood...	|	awake	]
[	i am jacks music...	|	some underoath song	]

Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don't know how many times I've wished that I had told you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could hold you
You don't know how many times I've wished that I could
Mold you into someone who could
Cherish me as much as I cherish you

i havent updated in a long time just because i was trying to decide if i would delete my LJ or not... i guess ill keep it... so i guess this entry will be dedicated to last week... after tuesday things started turning around...so the rest of the week was pretty average... i got a couple days off from work after monday night which was just what i needed... time to rest makes all the difference... when i went back on saturday things were better and i even worked alone for a portion of the day... mothers day was lame i just sat in my house all day... sunday night i went to church... yep my life is pretty boring

Perish is the word that more than applies
To the hope in my heart each time I realize
That I am not gonna be the one to share your dreams
That I am not gonna be the one to share your schemes
That I am not gonna be the one to share what
Seems to be the life that you could
Cherish as much as I do yours

[	i am jacks mood...	|	amused	]
[	i am jacks music...	|	just like heaven- the cure	]

finally it is friday! freedom and the guy i love for one night! i hope this is everything ive been hoping for *crosses fingers*...
so i was thinking today about how when someone is fat and they ask if they are fat everyone says "no your not fat" but they really are... and how some fat ppl seem like they just dont know they are fat... seriously they all have high self esteem and see themselves as being skinny and hot... so i was getting to thinking maybe im a super fat ass like 500 pounder and i dont even know it... hmmm it really does worry me...

anywho i love this song> "just like heaven"
"Show me how you do that trick
The one that makes me scream" she said
"The one that makes me laugh" she said
And threw her arms around my neck
"Show me how you do it and I promise you
I promise that I'll run away with you
I'll run away with you"
Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow
"Why are you so far away?" she said
"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?
That I'm in love with you?"